Blah

I was afraid this day would come. I would go to write a brilliant blog post and have absolutely nothing to say. Well, let me rephrase that — I would come up with 100 million ideas of what I could write about, but would not write about them because I am afraid of what people would think.

I guess I just plain feel blah. I don’t know why. But it seems at least one or twice a month, it’s just like I absolutely cannot take things anymore. I don’t know if I am bored, or need a change, but I just want to either run away to a far off land, or crawl up in my bed and not come out!

I think a lot of this comes from my personality. A couple years ago I got to be a part of the ACE (Association of Communication Excellence) Leadership Institute. It is a professional organization I am in. During the two-year leadership institute I was able to partake in the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator.

What an eye opener! Here I thot I was just weird and insecure! Reading my description was a real eye opener! I am an ENTJ. This means I am extraverted, intuitive, thinking and judging. My dominant process is extraverted thinking. My auxiliary function is introverted intuition. Introverted feeling and extraverted sensing are my least developed functions.

So, yeah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. What does this mean? Well, this all came with several pages of reports. Some of the things that stuck with me:

“You may have to seek out others’ views actively, since people may not volunteer them.”

Ah, yeah.

“Many people with your personality type tend to manage their feelings by repressing and denying them or by discharging them in ways which may be both inappropriate and destructive.”

Hmmmmmm

“In love with learning, fascinated by the very concept of intelligence, all-intuitive-thinking types share an inner drive toward performance and a highly self-critical nature which continually strives toward self improvement.”

Ditto. In fact, I think that is why I loved college so much. Like, seriously, I just plain loved to hear all the knowledge some of my professors expressed. Just sitting in class, listening, was so awesome.

“You live in the future more than you live in the present.”

Wow. Yeah.

People that know me know I am a perpetual planner. I really never stop planning anything — from fun nights out to vacations to what I am going to cook and wear for the week.

“Sometimes you set your personal standards for achievement impossibly high.”

“You may relate to recreation most comfortable as exercise (it’s good for you, you know!)”

Seriously, I thought all recreation was exercise? You mean, I can go out and ride my bike just for the fun of it?

“Your outgoing personality prefers working with human companionship, so you may wish to think long and hard before accepting a job or work assignment which forces you to work in isolation.”

Which is why I think I do get down at work at times. I don’t really have an equal in the section I work with. I really feel I performed much better when I had someone in the cube sitting next to me, doing to same things as me, which probably has only been for 3 out of 9 years I’ve worked here. Now, I know I have lots of colleagues where I work. But they all have different jobs as me.

I won’t bore you with many more details, but this is what really sticks with me and happens quite a bit to me:

“Then things settle down. You stifle a yawn, while your frazzled coworkers sigh with relief. While you yearn for the next crisis, they make no effort to disguise their earnest hope that routine is reestablished as soon as possible. Then, one morning, sure as death, you wake up, staring blankly at the ceiling, and you know you’ve been stricken, once again, by the insidious dark side of the intuitive enthusiasm: boredom. You try to fight it and deny it to your friends and enemies alike, but the fact is: you know you don’t want to go to work. Your energy’s gone, your spirit’s flat, and, once again, you realize you’ve fallen into one of your slack periods.”

WOW.

Nothing has ever spoken to me like this! Well, except for a recent sermon at church not to long ago about worrying (will have to talk about worrying some other time, but in the meantime, it is archived here.)

So, yeah. Boredom. I think boredom explains a lot of things in my life. Like right now, I have a couple of interesting stories I am working on, but all news writers know how those go, especially at a university. They move pretty slow. You can wait for weeks for people to get back to you. You do all you can to get ready, intricately write out the questions, envision the interview, do some background research. And still no call back. Then, some other meeting advances come along to use up your time. Eventually the stories get done, and more come along. It isn’t only my job in which I am like this. It is a lot of things in life. Travel. Tim and I haven’t gone anywhere since we went to Aruba in December 2008. We’ve done a city weekend here and there to Chicago, Kansas City and Denver. But nothing big. Now, we have a trip coming up to Hawaii with Tim’s family. I am so freaking excited! I am reading and finding every little piece of information I can about it! We also are planning to go to London next summer, so also reading up on that. Living in the future, not paying attention to present. That is me. In fact, I actually have planned trips that we have never gone on. Yeah. The daydreamer in me again.

So, yeah, I guess I didn’t think I had anything to write about today. Boy was I wrong. I think I might of even cleared some things up by writing this. How therapeutic.

To end, I want to share a quote that I heard on one of my favorite TV shows this week: “Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations” (my other favorite shows at the moment are “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” — yeah, I don’t know why — and “Mad Men”). But this writer/editor associated with Tony said, “If you’re a writer, you’re a fool.” I love this! Tim thought I was being negative with the title of my blog, but I think I am write on target.

That is all for now — over 1,000 words when I thought I had nothing to say!